Farting princess

Not gonna lie, AB is into talking about farts.  She’s 5, she likes farts, that’s how it is.  We have a new thing where she is the “farting princess” and whenever she farts I say

Well done, your farting majesty!”

and if she farts again,

“All the farting kingdom is enjoying your royal fart!”

She also likes “The Monster Mash” so I wrote a fart-centered take on this song which she really enjoys.  Lyrics follow.

I was working in the lab, that’s the story I tell

When my nose caught wind of an eerie smell

It came from deep within my pants

A most malodorous circumstance

It was the fart

(It was the monster fart)

It was the fart

(It gave me quite a start)

It was the fart

(It tore my nose apart!)

It was the fart


Before the smell had even thinned

I once again had broken wind

I fear I know just what this means

I should have told them “Hold the beans!”

It was the fart



Tagged , ,

3 thoughts on “Farting princess

  1. Jon Awbrey says:

    I remember reading somewhere that the Pythagoreans had a taboo against eating beans because the flatulence was evidence of a reincarnated spirit embodied therein. Women trying to become pregnant were excused from the taboo.

  2. Shecky R says:

    When I saw the title I presumed you had some mathematical take on this recent story (guess I JUMPED to the wrong conclusion):

  3. Regina says:

    Now I understand where Caleb got his ideas for his class act-out story last year….Tanya must be SO proud :)

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