Farting princess

Not gonna lie, AB is into talking about farts.  She’s 5, she likes farts, that’s how it is.  We have a new thing where she is the “farting princess” and whenever she farts I say

“Well done, your farting majesty!”

and if she farts again,

“All the farting kingdom is enjoying your royal fart!”

She also likes “The Monster Mash” so I wrote a fart-centered take on this song which she really enjoys.  Lyrics follow.

I was working in the lab, that’s the story I tell

When my nose caught wind of an eerie smell

It came from deep within my pants

A most malodorous circumstance

It was the fart

(It was the monster fart)

It was the fart

(It gave me quite a start)

It was the fart

(It tore my nose apart!)

It was the fart

 

Before the smell had even thinned

I once again had broken wind

I fear I know just what this means

I should have told them “Hold the beans!”

It was the fart

(repeat)